“We’re Not Gonna Live Forever”: Mortality, Meaning, and the Wisdom of Sophia and Rose in The Golden Girls …

7 min read3 days ago

This essay is a reaction to my essay series on The Golden Girls, looking backwards on them, after spending a full week editing. They were all originally drafted during COVID-19 and were previously unpublished. This essay is what I wanted to say about the actual impact of the show on society from an anthropologic lens and my current perspective almost six years later.

When The Golden Girls premiered in 1985, its four lead actresses — Bea Arthur, Betty White, Rue McClanahan, and Estelle Getty were instantly accepted by audiences as older women living out their retirement years in Miami. The humor and premise of the show revolved around their age, treating them as seniors facing the latter part of life. At the time, few questioned this perception. Even the marketing of the show was very straightforward back then for anyone who saw it. It’s even in the title ‘Golden Girls’ suggestively.

But looking back now, something seems off. Rue McClanahan was only 51 when the show began, an age that, in 2024, places her closer to Jennifer Aniston and Jennifer Lopez than to the “elderly” stereotype Blanche Devereaux embodied. Bea Arthur and Betty White were in their early 60s. They were at an age which, today, actresses are still playing romantic leads, CEOs, and action heroines. And most striking of all, Estelle Getty, who played the elderly Sophia Petrillo, was actually younger than Bea Arthur but was transformed into a woman in her 80s through a wig, makeup, and exaggerated posture.

Now, as cultural beauty standards and perceptions of aging have shifted, The Golden Girls seems miscast in hindsight. If the show were made today, its characters likely wouldn’t be framed as elderly at all. The question is, why did audiences at the time see them that way? Have actual aging patterns changed, or has our perception of age been shaped by evolving beauty standards, social attitudes, and media representation? Did the show itself have any impact upon the public in regards to this?

To explore this, it would help to examine the way age has historically been portrayed, particularly in regard to women, and how society tends to impose rigid expectations on when someone transitions from being “young” to being “old.”

How Society Defines Age: Then vs. Now.

In the 1980s, a woman over 50 was often seen as being past her prime, regardless of how she actually looked or lived. Hairstyles, clothing choices, and cultural norms reinforced this categorization. Women in their 50s and 60s were expected to present themselves as matronly, dressing conservatively, embracing shorter hairstyles, and toning down their sexuality. This was a stark contrast to men, who were often allowed to maintain their status as leading men and romantic figures well into their 60s and 70s.

Rue McClanahan, at 51, was made to seem much older than her years. Compare that to Jennifer Lopez at 54, who headlines action films and remains a global sex symbol. When McClanahan played Blanche, her character’s sexuality was often framed as comedic and the idea that a woman over 50 could be flirty, desirable, and sexually active was played for laughs. Today, women of the same age are presented as dynamic, powerful, and desirable without irony or ever a second consideration.

This shift in perception is partly due to changes in fashion, fitness, and aesthetic treatments, but it also reflects a deeper societal transformation. As more women stay in the workforce longer, control their own finances, and continue pursuing their passions well past midlife, the concept of what “old” looks like has changed.

The Mrs. Kintner Effect: When Stress and Emotion Create the Illusion of Age.

You may have found yourself in conversation with friends about this specifically as it’s a well known and popular talking point that people have long tried wrapping their head around. This phenomenon, where women appear older than they actually are, largely due to societal framing was never just limited to The Golden Girls. A striking real-world example is Lee Fierro, the actress who played Mrs. Kintner, the grieving mother in Jaws (1975). When the film was released, audiences assumed she was in her late 60s or 70s. In reality, she was only 45.

Her character’s grief, combined with her somber wardrobe and the cultural expectation that mourning women age rapidly, created an illusion of advanced age. This is a recurring pattern in media: when women experience profound sadness or hardship, they are perceived as older. Angela Lansbury, for instance, played Laurence Harvey’s mother in The Manchurian Candidate (1962) despite being only three years older than him in real life. Similarly, Estelle Getty, at 62, was aged up to play Sophia Petrillo, while actors the same age today, such as Tom Cruise or Sandra Bullock, are still positioned as action stars or romantic leads.

Jennifer Connelly (51) as the mythic Penny Benjamin

Why does this happen? Part of the answer lies in how we expect women to visually conform to life stages. Once a woman reaches a certain milestone, like widowhood, motherhood, or even a certain professional status, she is often treated as if she has aged out of youth, regardless of her actual physical appearance.

Medical Advances or Just Different Styling?

One argument for why women today appear “younger” than their counterparts from the 1980s is advancements in health and aesthetics. Skincare, Botox, fillers, and hair dye are all more accessible and widely used. Nutrition, exercise, and medical care have improved, extending vitality and physical youthfulness.

But while these factors play a role, they don’t fully explain the shift. Much of it comes down to presentation. Women in their 50s and 60s today wear fitted clothing, highlight their hair, and stay physically active in ways that were less common in the past. A side-by-side comparison of Rue McClanahan at 51 and, say, Sofia Vergara at the same age, reveals that there is a lot difference is in styling, posture, and specific fashion norms and not just biology.

Consider Sally Field. When she played Tom Hanks’s mother in Forrest Gump (1994), she was only 10 years older than him in real life. Yet she was fully accepted in the role because of how she was styled and how audiences perceived maternal figures. Contrast that with Field at 76 today, who’s still working, still looking vibrant, and no longer confined to a grandmotherly image.

The Golden Girls vs. And Just Like That …

A contemporary example of how age perception has shifted can be found in And Just Like That… (the Sex and the City sequel). When The Golden Girls began, its lead actresses were in their 50s and 60s, roughly the same age range as Sarah Jessica Parker, Kristin Davis, and Cynthia Nixon in And Just Like That… Yet those characters are still dating, working, and living independent lives without the comedic framing of being “old.”

Would The Golden Girls have been received differently if it had been styled more like And Just Like That…? If its characters had worn modern fashion, spoken about their lives differently, or carried themselves with the same energy we now expect from 50- and 60-year-olds? The answer is likely yes.

Perception is Everything.

The way age is perceived is constantly evolving, shaped by culture, media, and shifting beauty standards. The Golden Girls is a fascinating case study in how much of that perception is constructed rather than inherent. The same women who were seen as elderly in the 1980s wouldn’t be categorized the same way today.

The double standard, however, remains. While women today may be granted more time before being considered “old,” they are also under immense pressure to maintain youthfulness. The expectation isn’t that they age gracefully, it’s simply that they avoid aging altogether. The strange cultural obsession with keeping women in a state of suspended youth is just a different version of the problem that framed The Golden Girls as a show about old age.

Maybe the real takeaway isn’t about how old people look, but how we value people at different life stages. Whether they are considered “old” or not, women have always been more than their age. And if The Golden Girls taught us anything, it’s that what matters most isn’t how young you look, but how fully you live.

Finally, every few years it seems that the television studios wind up to pass off one more iteration of the Golden Girls upon patient audiences and, without fail, the show barely lives up to even a modest amount of expectation or be taken serious. The formula that was created by the show’s creator, Susan Harris, will likely never be duplicated. And to an earlier question about how time has changed perception — the answer is a resounding YES. It isn’t a stretch to believe that the show itself changed the culture, society, and the way we feel about aging, women’s roles, societal expectations. As a parting thought, hopefully these essays help all of us to challenge, consider, and give real introspection to our own prejudices, ingrained biases, and outdated cognitive distortions.