Lessons in Aging: How The Golden Girls Shaped My Perspective on Growing Older with Purpose …
During COVID 19, I drafted a handful of essays about my own personal history as a grown man who had a life-long obsession with The Golden Girls. I often found myself watching the show during some of the most stressful moments of my life from a rough and tumble 20’s, a later divorce, being deployed to a warzone overseas, and then finally understanding what it meant to have to build myself back up in a world as disparate as this, brick by brick.
These six essays, posted here, explore how The Golden Girls helped shaped my understanding of some key psychological themes: aging with purpose, found family, grief, humor as a coping mechanism, the impact of the show during the isolation of COVID-19, and its rare portrayal of male vulnerability.
Drawing from my own experience, finding comfort in memories of my grandparents, and navigating a sense of disconnectedness living abroad — this collection examines how a sitcom became more than just entertainment. It became a blueprint for my own resilience, offering lessons on how to embrace life fully, at any stage. And so, away we go …
Lessons in Aging: How The Golden Girls Shaped My Perspective on Growing Older with Purpose.
Aging is often framed as a slow march toward irrelevance, a decline in vitality, or a process to be feared rather than embraced. But for me, a Gen X’er who came of age in the 1980s and 1990s, The Golden Girls presented an alternative reality of one where aging could be rich with meaning, humor, resilience, and the enduring importance of deep, chosen connections.
As a quick aside, for the sake of touching back at an opposite perspective, at the same moment in history, another version of Miami in 1985 was brewing vividly and in multicolored pastels every Friday night thanks to Michael Mann. That version was very different as it was layered with macho, violent, sleek, and misogynist overtones. That world was built with a hyper-focus on fashion, guns, bikini clad girls, and the drug trade as a through-line. Miami Vice was a show thrown in front of me for which I was clearly the targeted audience. I also wrote a set of essays about what that show meant to me as well.
As someone currently focused on a Master’s Degree in Clinical Mental Health Counseling, I have spent years studying how people process trauma, loss, and transition. My studies, work, disposition, and perspective draws me to person-centered therapy, Gestalt approaches, and the existential frameworks of Irvin Yalom. These methodologies emphasize presence, personal growth, and the inevitability of mortality. The Golden Girls, though often dismissed as a lighthearted sitcom, offered a nuanced and profoundly insightful exploration of these same themes. Watching the show in my 20s and 30s, I found it shaping my perspectives on what it means to grow older — not as an ending, but as a reinvention.
Reframing Aging: From Decline to Renewal …
Western culture valorizes youth, often viewing aging as a loss rather than an evolution. The Golden Girls rejected this view. Blanche, Dorothy, Rose, and Sophia were not defined by their advancing years but by their relationships, growth, and resilience. Dorothy faced job insecurity and chronic illness with humor and resolve. Blanche, despite being flirtatious and youth-obsessed, confronted aging head-on. Rose, with her naïve optimism, reminded me that kindness and ‘living in joy ’ is not exclusive to the young and can be contagious. And Sophia? She exemplified wisdom without pessimism.
These perspectives always resonated with me. As someone now in my 50s, still in school going through lots of education, training and introspection as well as facing an ever-changing and difficult workforce, the episode “Job Hunting” (Season 1, Episode 22) was particularly impactful. Rose struggles with unemployment and the reality that employers discriminate against older workers. Watching her frustration mirrored what I’ve often felt deeply through the years, and especially while being in University classes as the oldest student and feeling discarded by a world that equates worth with youth. Yet, her resilience and humor in the face of rejection demonstrated that self-worth isn’t dictated by external validation. Her eventual acceptance of a teaching position reinforced the idea that purpose can be redefined at any stage in life.
The Role of Found Family in Aging:
Perhaps the most powerful message of The Golden Girls was that family is not always defined by blood.
For someone who has experienced abandonment, complicated grief, and the psychological effects of loss, the idea of “found family” is transformative. The show’s characters, each with their own histories of loss and disappointment, built a life together rooted in love, mutual support, and humor. Their house in Miami became a safe haven.
In dealing with both PTSD and complicated grief, I have seen firsthand how the absence of strong support systems deepens emotional wounds. Traditional families are not always available or functional, and aging can feel isolating when those bonds have frayed. But The Golden Girls offered a different perspective: that connection is a choice, and community can be built at any stage in life.
An example of this is found in “Whose Face Is This, Anyway?” (Season 2, Episode 12).
In this episode, Blanche struggles with the idea of aging and considers getting plastic surgery after a date makes an offhand remark about her looks. She becomes fixated on maintaining her youthful image, believing that her value is tied to external validation, which we all struggle with. However, it’s through the unwavering support of Dorothy, Rose, and Sophia that she begins to see herself differently. Her friends don’t just offer reassurance, they remind her that her worth isn’t tied to how she appears, but to who she is to them.
This episode highlights the deeper, emotional security that ‘chosen family’ provides. While Blanche has biological family members, it is Dorothy, Rose, and Sophia who see her fully, who challenge and support her in ways that blood relatives often do not. Their love and acceptance give her the courage to embrace herself beyond societal expectations.
The Existential Freedom of Later Life:
In existential therapy, confronting freedom and responsibility is essential. As we age, societal expectations loosen. The career ladder is no longer an all-consuming focus, and we make decisions based on fulfillment rather than external validation.
The characters in The Golden Girls exemplified this existential freedom. They had already been through marriages, careers, and child-rearing. Now, they were defining themselves on their own terms. Dorothy left a toxic marriage to prioritize her well-being. Blanche embraced both independence and friendship simultaneously by opening her own, taking on very interesting dual-roles. Rose pursued love after devastating loss. Sophia spoke her mind, embracing blunt honesty and humor.
This framed aging as self-liberation. It made me see my own future not as a narrowing of possibilities, but as an expansion. I encourage any reader to redefine their own narratives about aging, asking: Who do you want to be in your later years? What does purpose look like beyond youth?
Growing Older with Purpose:
In a culture obsessed with staying young, The Golden Girls offered a refreshing counterpoint. It presented aging as dynamic, filled with humor, connection, loss, and reinvention. It shaped how I saw my own future and informed how I approach mental health, grief, and resilience professionally.
To age well is to remain engaged with others, with oneself, and with the joys and challenges of each new phase.
As Sophia might say, “Picture it: the future, where we choose laughter over fear, relationships over isolation, and growth over stagnation.”
Thanks to The Golden Girls, I’ve learned to picture that future a little more clearly and always remember to step into it with greater purpose.
This is the first of six essays on The Golden Girls. The others are as follows:
1. Lessons in Aging: How The Golden Girls Shaped My Perspective on Growing Older with Purpose
2. The Golden Girls and the Psychology of Found Family: A Model for Overcoming Abandonment
3. Grief, Loss, and Moving Forward: The Golden Girls as a Blueprint for Navigating Life’s Goodbyes
5. The Golden Girls in the Time of COVID-19: Finding Solace, Connection, and Meaning in Isolation.
